The scene: June, 2008. Two RECORD COMPANY EXECUTIVES are having lunch in a trendy L.A. restaurant. EXECUTIVE #1, an older guy, is pretending that “cold gin” and a martini are the same thing. EXECUTIVE #2, a young go-getter, is pretending to like kombucha, like people do these days.

EXEC 1: I just don’t know what to [...]

I have figured out how the universe works.

The day those assholes are done digging mysterious holes in the street ten feet from our front window and filling them in with various materials each day, with their jackhammers and air compressors and beeping backhoes and rumbling tractors and shit?

That will be the day that I get [...]